Revealing Psychic Clutter to a Trusted Human Being
Removes the Sting
By Leslie Reynolds-Benns, PhD,
www.lesliereynoldsbenns.com

Some of us carry painful secrets. Others painful misdeeds. All clutter clouding our psyche from clarity. If you’ve thought it might be time to write these down, how can you remove the sting of what you’ve identified? Some of your realizations are embarrassing, while others are downright humiliating. Some evidence you’ve uncovered might convict you in a court of law, while what you’ve identified about others could put them in jail for a life-time. This is powerful stuff! How can we remove the sting of what you’ve uncovered in your psyche? You can remove it by telling another human being what you’ve done. It’s that simple. You can remove the sting of an incident by merely confessing what you’ve done to a safe human being.
Oh, no. I couldn’t do that, you might protest. It would be too humiliating.

Confessing to another human being is one action that you may have to take on faith. Confessing is one of the most liberating events that can happen to a mournful soul. But you need discretion in picking the person to whom you’ll reveal yourself: a trusted friend, your clergy, a counselor or therapist, one trained to hear confession. While therapists may be good for clients who already have a trusting, open and honest relationship with them, they may not be safe enough for you, particularly if you have to confess physically harming another, whether a child, adult or elderly person. Therapists, counselors, and some clergymen, while holding most material confidential, are required by federal law to disclose murder and child or elder abuse by a client.

One woman reported reading her “personal inventory” to a woman at a bus stop, who didn’t speak English, so great was her fear of opening up in front of another human being. While reporting what she had done at a twelve-step meeting, she then proceeded to recite the items that she had previously been afraid to tell anyone -- to a room filled with seventy-five people! All her behaviors had diminished in significance with the disclosures. We know that fear can strangle our aliveness. It can rob us of our forward-motion in life and places a huge burden on our psyches. And remember that courage is acting in the face of fear, and that courage begets courage.

A trusted friend who has read this article, or better yet, Chapter 13 in Confession is Good for More than the Soul would probably be the best choice to hear the results of your look into your life. There are also trained Spiritual Directors, [sdiworld.org] people whose sole purpose is to aid one in having a closer relationship with deity. Most are trained to hear people from varying disciplines, or even none, but they are covered under the same federal law as therapists. One of these would be an excellent source as a low-cost listener for your confession. Spouses or lovers aren’t recommended. They may be too close to hear your clutter, and sadly, may use what they hear against you at a later date. An unwitting confession might cause your marriage to crumble. Open and honest communication is a hallmark of lasting and vibrant relationships, but you don’t have to drop your clutter on your spouse all at once. Clutter is like food poisoning, you have to get it out. But as in food poisoning, you don’t vomit on your family and friends. You vomit in the toilet. [Paraphrase of Rashneesh] Your task is to find an appropriate toilet.
Pray or meditate on the question of to whom you should read your list of clutter. The answer will come.

Excerpted from Confession Is Good for More than the Soul

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