It’s Okay to be Angry Flags, bumper stickers, headlines - whatever pushes your buttons in the world of current events, chances are it's in the media and on the streets these days. Has a session with the morning paper sent you rummaging through the refrigerator? Have you craved those cigarettes you gave up years ago as you watched the evening Although these could be symptoms of fear, they are also ways we stuff our anger. Anger is a normal, natural, even positive reaction to a frustrating or disappointing situation. It’s an energy, and as an energy it's okay. But many of us are afraid of anger - our own or someone else's. Some people get angry at the drop of a hat. Anything can set them off, and they take no responsibility for being the cause in the matter. Other people may own their anger but believe they must get it out, and do - all over everyone else. Have you noticed that recently you were more testy with loved ones, or that you lost your cool Stress in our lives has a lot to do with how we manage or don't manage our anger. As the stress increases, our anger management skills go down. We may need to assess our basic stress level, to see if the additional stress of war reactions may lead to a surprise blow up. As you take this basic stress test, note that even positive life events cause lasting stress: In the past two years, have you had a severe illness? had a loved one with a severe illness? become divorced? become married? lost a job? had a new job? experienced a death in the family? done jail or prison time? moved? had a baby? gone bankrupt? A "yes" answer to any one of these puts you under stress on a basic operating level. Add the normal stress of a job, and then the world situation, and you may have every right to become a self-perceived basket case, unless you are aware of the cause of the breakdown and can take steps to deal with it. Acknowledging that anger is The three main sources of anger include unresolved anger from the past - the most common (and the most dangerous). We have anger about our childhoods, at the unfairness of life, anger at others for not Though it can be stuffed, stored or repressed, as an energy, unresolved anger eventually explodes. It can explode into rage and violence. It can also explode into suicide and other self-destructive behavior, such as addictions and alcoholism. Stuffed, stored, and suppressed anger is not compatible with our bodies; our bodies will Suppressing or avoiding anger causes workplace problems too, including wasted time, reduced decision quality, loss of skilled employees, sabotage theft/damage, lowered job motivation, lost work time and health costs. Another source of anger is the present, when we don't get, or fear not getting, what we want; when we lose; or fear losing, something important to us; or when our insecurity watches vigilantly for slights or put-downs. Many of us come to our anger justifiably in these uncertain times. The third source is, of course, anger projected into the future, for example, coming home to a house where teenagers have been left unsupervised, and imagining what they've done before even entering the house. Or projecting devastating and long-lasting consequences from the war. Anger has positive functions. First, it is a survival mechanism. It acts as a danger signal to let us know that something in our life isn't working, If we heed that signal, we can change and grow. It's often helpful to channel the energy produced by our anger into community improving activities, remembering that we are releasing, not dumping, our anger when we do them. Many of us found that participating in the peace gatherings was a safe way to release our anger productively. On the other hand, others may have felt that Anger motivates change and causes us to communicate. But take care not to communicate at the peak of escalating anger. We have neither clarity nor choice until the peak has passed. We may need to
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